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Old 12-19-2012, 09:26 AM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
@InsaneMystic - thanks for expanding upon your post in the other thread!
No problems, you're welcome!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
I personally would prefer for my government to butt out of "marriage" completely – their interest limited to enforcing “contracts” (in a civil union type fashion), recognizing “households” (for tax purposes - regardless of marital/familial status), and enforcing the fact that adults are responsible for providing for children that they produce.
I think it's awesome hearing that from someone who's married, themself. I've gotten lots of flack for my opinion before, this is a nice change of pace!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
Having said all of that I am still fine with the concept of “marriage” … as I conceive it. Historically “marriage” has meant different things, as you pointed out – I would not, personally, participate in a “marriage” that implied “ownership”, for instance. Lucky for me, I live in an age and a country where that kind of arrangement can not be forced on me. (I'm agnostic/atheist so I'm not terribly interested in what various churches say on the subject).

Marriage, to me, means that someone has actively decided to commit themselves to facing life as a team with another person(/other people)...and to announce that intention publicly. It doesn't take a church or a government to make that promise “real” … just recognized. The ceremony is a physical act that you take part in to mark the transition., the “piece of paper” is just a “piece of paper” … except that it is a symbol of what has occurred.

Liken this, perhaps, to education – say you take all of the classes you actually need but never actually complete the requirements for your degree – you never took that gym class. You still know what you know, you are qualified for the jobs you are qualified for but you don't have that “piece of paper” - should that matter? No. Does it?...more times than it should. Do you need to go through the “cap-and-gown” ceremony to get that piece of paper? Nope. So why do so many people do it?

From my own experience – getting married meant something to me personally. It was fairly subtle. My thought processes went from “I am going to do this-and-such...and MrS will be there too.” to “We are going to do such-and-so-on.” Our actual plans did not change. Nothing changed on an observable level. We lived the same life we had been living before.

I don't think that marriage has to have anything to do with sex or the ability to procreate. For, me marriage is about making a commitment to being together and forging a life together...and, lucky for me, nobody but me and my spouse has to agree.
Yeah, I get what you're saying... maybe I just can't ignore the history/roots of the institution of marriage. There's all the baggage inherent in the word, I can't overlook that - I'd feel like if I were pro-marriage, I'd be taking all the crapola the term's history evokes for me as a bedfellow, and I rather pass on that. (Thankfully, I'm generally a weirdo anyway, so not being into the marriage game hardly gets any further eyebrows raised, lol.)

If you managed to redefine marriage for you in a way that works for you, and that doesn't lead to betraying freedom and respect for either you or your spouse, then hey, more power to you. It kinda feels to me like you managed to "reclaim the slur", as it were. That's a cool enough feat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
PS. Sorry if my reply seems rather stream of consciousness....my internet failed and I typed my reply in Word without having your post available.
No worries, it was perfectly readable, and my own post was ranty enough...
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