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Old 12-19-2012, 02:51 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is online now
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,487

Hello and Welcome to the forum!

I don't have any great wisdom to impart, but this line:

Originally Posted by DistantWindows View Post
I am a very picky person, and have only felt very strongly about perhaps 3 or 4 people in my life.
- really resonated with me.

I wasn't looking for a relationship when I fell into one with MrS (I was, in fact, actively trying to avoid them - having never been in one before). Nineteen years later it happened again...with Dude.

Since I am currently in a relationship with every (all both) person(s) I have "felt strongly" about, I am, obviously, not one to advise you how to "get over" someone. I think the general advice you might get here will be along the lines of "Enjoy your feelings for her, share them with your girlfriend if that is good for both of you...BUT, since the other girl would 'NEVER' go for a polyship, she is not a potential...if you care for her then don't pursue her romantically if you can't offer her what would make her happiest (i.e. NOT poly)"

With all of the people in the would it seems ridiculous to me that there can be "only one" (or two or four ) with which you could potentially feel strongly for. Could you meet one of the the "other ones" again? Sure. Maybe next week...maybe 19 years from now.

Sounds like you have a good thing going with your girlfriend...continue to explore that, share your feelings, communicate...and maybe the next time someone comes along she (the other someone) will be someone who could actually be a poly-partner and you and your girlfriend will have done the work to know whether that is something that is right for you.


PS. It constantly amazes me that the two people that I have been unable to avoid having "strong feelings" for also happen to be two people who are able to be in a polyship with me (and each other). Don't quite know how I managed that exactly...
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married (to TT) female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 12-19-2012 at 02:52 AM. Reason: More commas!
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