Why would you consider moving to a large place with the two of them? Especially, Aeryn, when he won't stand up for your daughter or you.
For me it's one thing to mess with me, that's on me. But fuck with my kid and it's on like donkey kong. I am a a very laid back person for the most part, but I would have been all over Chipmunk.
I have followed your situation since the beginning as being in a poly relationship and having a child. I understand you feel obligated that you talked her into this. However, there is a line of unacceptable behavior and only you can define it. You, my lady have been far more patient then I would be.
The other part of this by you being the bad guy, you also get to be the fall guy when their relationship falls apart due to what ever reason.