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Old 12-18-2012, 08:47 PM
Numina Numina is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 139
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Livingmybestlife View Post
A struggle I am having with my primary is being codependent. He complains about things that effect us both. I ask him to address the issues and he doesn't so I do.

What this does to us:

He is the good guy!
I am the raving bitch or just a bitch.
Causes conflict between us.
Causes conflict with me and other people.

After therapy I see my part in it. I see his as well. He is setting me up to be the "bad guy".
Yep this is exactly the problem. He and I had a bit of an argument about it after I sent out the email to Chipmunk. This also why I am on him now over this issue Chipmunk is playing with Wolf. If he can't get past this, and actually stand up for Me, Us, and our kid. The we have a much larger issue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Livingmybestlife View Post
I believe this relates to your situation and makes one that is already unfair to you even more difficult.

I to have a DD she is 13. Very typical behavior of that age. My concern is for Wolfe, that is she hears such nonsense she will feel less.

I also wonder why Chipmunk must be protected at all costs from her behavior.

I also know often in my life people who trust me the most treat me the worst because they know I am not a runner and will be here. My relationship with my primary who is my husband is that we are in house separated while he works on his FOO issues. I had no choice but to do this as he doesn't respect me as a person and crosses boundaries repeatedly. I needed to do this not just for myself but for my daughter.

I haven't posted in a very long time. I don't presume to judge u, I see our roles with our spouses being similar.
I don't see you judging, I see you stating the obvious. I just wish I was better a saying these things myself. Airyn has had a couple of rude awakening in the last few months, in the past couple weeks even. This will be a hurdle for him. He "thinks" I have been impatient with Chipmunk over these past 4-5 months. Now he is being reminded what my lack of patients coupled with my quick to anger issue really looks like. He hasn't seen/dealt with these in a very long time.

I know my talk with him yesterday stressed him out. I have reminded him about our talk the day he called me his roommate. I told him I was tired, done. then I sent the email and told them both that I'm done with being considerate and ignored.

He's starting to see this some what. Especially after I called them out for not think about or including a discussion on how to explain our relationship to Chipmunk's grandmother. It will be coming up again soon. He thinks that we'll be dropping Chipmunk off, and heading to his mom's. I don't see Chipmunk being the only one to get out of the vehicle. I see her wanting to introduce us, and I see her grandmother wanting to know who she's staying with.
__________________
Bi-sexual female

Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).

No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.

Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
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