Galgirl, you took something out of context, and I think got inflamed over it. I never said "take off your clothes". Go back and re-read that please.
And his response was cool, smiling "yes she did, yes she did, very nice." But I think when I just said basically "yeah, take off your clothes and get it on" it kind of took the wind out of his sail.
I am not inflamed. I am disturbed. As in bothered by your communication style in this example -- if those are indeed the actual words that were used.
When all I have is what I read, and that is what I'm reading? It doesn't sound flattering to you, dude. There's room for improvement.
All I'm saying in my feedback to you is that your communication style sounds off. Not as clear as it could be. And you could take better care with your words to minimize it being misinterpreted by less than ethical people. Not just because you could be thought of as a "tool" if you do not find ways to express yourself better. But because it could have bigger ramifications than just that and have bigger effect on persons beyond just you. It could affect her. So you could be aware of that.
I don't think telling a potential metamour that I expect them to treat my partner with respect is "policing" them. It's stating my expectation out in front, and I prefer to do that.
You could choose how you want to form your new method of expressing "we are in an open relationship" to other potential dating partners. I was just giving an example from my own filter of preferences.
Hope the feedback is helpful. GL!