Quick update, as I have not been on this forum for quite some time.
Things are good on the poly front here. A couple weeks back my wife's GF and I met one-on-one for coffee and to try to get to know/become more comfortable with eachother. I think we accomplished that. When it came to sharing our feelings for my wife, we both shed some tears.
It took some coaxing to get it out of her, but her primary concern was for what she perceived as my "veto power." When I asked for her expectations she said, "I don't think I can have any."
I assured her that I do not feel I have the ability or right to stand in the way of their relationship. I tried to impart how I have loved my wife since I was 14 (I am now 42) and how that love has changed; deepened and intensified in surprising ways. I am so grateful for her in my life that I can not imagine denying her what her heart desires, which is no longer only me. I told the GF I felt profoundly connected to her for her ability to see and love the qualities in my primary partner that I see and love.
I assured her that they would have the time together they both desire.
She's separating from her husband for good this time, which means she'll soon be in her own apartment where she and my wife can spend time they haven't had but want together. That will be a game changer, no doubt. But I think I'm ready to handle my wife spending a regular night or two a week away from me to be with her GF.
The compersion creature I am most of the time requires constant care and feeding, I admit, but it's getting easier.