The answer to that is, yes, I got involved with him when he was being unfaithful. It is not something I am proud of at all and he is only the second man in my life that I have had any involvement with who was cheating on anybody. The first was when I was much younger and broke my heart. I did not intend to start a relationship with him but the 'click' was so loud I wasn't hearing anything else. I believe him to be the love of my life but I suppose life isn't over so who knows if that is true or not just yet.
That behavior are not demonstrating those things but I was meaning was that until this we have been such a force for love together. This isn't the man I know and that is why I am trying to hang in there and be a couple that works through things rather than gives up - people will mess up - but I feel like he has placed so much odd negative energy on the one moment where I suggested that we maybe needed to be monogamous for a period that he is looking at me wondering if I am going to suddenly not be poly. I have been been living poly a lot longer than he has and perhaps because of that I am uncomfortable with the lack of proper communication about the nature of the relationship he was forming with this person. If he wants to have some sort of relationship with her...fine..just don't lie to me about it.
I am really having to fight with my trust issues here. In the end, how that plays out it what will determine where I go from here. I can't not trust the people in my intimate life.