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Old 12-29-2009, 10:31 AM
dakid dakid is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 191

i have always thought i will adopt one day.

some years ago i started to think about the possible ramifications of my experiences in a mental health hospital and got really worried that this would make me unable to adopt.

in the end, on the advice of a friend, i phoned my local social services department and spoke to them about it. i am soooo glad i did this! what they told me was very simple - as long as i had at least two years uninterrupted employment and good health before applying then it wouldn't be any problem.

i am only telling you this because i want to suggest that you do similarly and call either social services or a local adoption agency to find out the facts.

you don't have to tell them your real name you can just make a general enquiry and see what their response is. it really helped me to know where i stand, i hope it will for you too.

all the best and good luck


edited to add: although i still haven't adopted, i still plan to. in the intervening years i spend 5 years as childminder for a lesbian couple who have two adopted children. as well as learning from all members of that family i also did a lot of reading from their bookshelves about adoption. many many children who are in need of adoption have complicated histories in one way or another. for example they may have been sexually abused. secrets, for these children, have proved very damaging in their lives, and asking a child to keep any kind of secret about their adoptive family can be really damaging again. social services don't stop being involved the day the kids move in, and the kids often have a strong need for there to be no secrets in their new family. also social services make great efforts to match the children to a suitable family and would need to know as much as possible about your lives in order to do that. i would imagine that being in a poly family would be ideal for some children but not for others and so thats another reason to be as open as you dare during the process.

Last edited by dakid; 12-29-2009 at 10:36 AM.
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