I told him, I would be okay with him going to see her but asked him to do it fairly quickly so that it wasn't something just hanging over us.
Well, about week after our talk/fight he had to go to Texas for a family wedding. So, I was there in our apartment really thinking he was weighing up if he wanted to leave or not and is was confusing the hell out of me since right up until then we had a near perfect relationship for nearly a year as far as depth of feeling and communication. He kind of cold shouldered me through his trip to Texas. Checking in enough to let me know he hadn't forgotten about me but certainly not the loving messages and talks we would normally have.
When he got back from Texas he told me 'other trip is at the end of the month'. I knew what that meant and I swallowed my feelings a bit and thanked him for telling me and could he let me know the dates. He did. I called my best friend and asked him to come down to be with me that weekend so I didn't spiral into anxiety attacks and he did.
The day before his trip (one she must have paid for..which made me feel odd because in my head it took a certain level of relationship for somebody to pay your airfare) I asked him for his flight times and he flipped. He he said I was trying to keep tabs on him. Wow, never has he reacted like that to me ever. I said, no, I was just doing what any couple would do and ask flight details on the chance something happened. On top of which, I discovered that day that the trip was actually a day longer than the initial dates he had told me. Which I admit I did question why he hadn't told me that.
So, now he is feeling pressured from what I think are just straight forward questions that poly or even open couples share with each other when going to meet a play partner. He gives me a set of flight times and I don't know..something wasn't right in my head about them. When I got home, I accidentally bumped the computer table and it turned the monitor on and there was his itinerary with totally different times. To my knowledge that is the first time he as ever straight out lied to me and it really hurt. I tried not to mention it, to just let him do whatever it is he needed to do but I couldn't. I asked him if he would lie to me when he was mad and he paused for a bit and I asked 'then what are your real flight times?' and he hung his head in shame and told me. I asked why he would lie to me and his answer was that it felt like i was trying to control him. It is like in whatever state he was in after our 'talk' was making it difficult for him to not slip back into cheating behavior - something never needed with me ever - rather than just be honest. I took the answer and let it slide from there.