The first few weeks everything is heaven. Then, I started to get a niggling feeling about him and this girl. There was just something that wasn't sitting right with me. He was being too 'this has to happen' and we had just moved in together after so many months of trying to get to that place. One day, he was texting her in the wide open - not really trying to hide anything - and I see a picture that came up of the two of them. Where they met was at a BBW event that takes place in a hotel so when I asked him about the picture he said it was in her room (there are often massive room parties that are basically drinking places) and that they had just taken a quick photo laying down on the bed and then he came back to me. I honestly believe that to be true but for some reason it set my trust alerts off a bit because I guess I figured I should have been told he had been back to her room even if nothing happened.
Now, here is where I think I messed up big time. I have a low level anxiety disorder that throws anxiety attacks at me a couple times a year. Change is one of my triggers and all that change at once and then that dent in what I thought was perfect trust ..well, it sent me into a spin of nearly two weeks or straight out anxiety attacks. I am in a new job with no health care or access to medication to calm them. I was trying to hide them but they started to overtake me and I began to get a little bitchy with my responses when the other woman was mentioned.
Then one night he brought her up in a way that I found disrespectful to me. I had met him through my best friend - they do music together - and there was a need for him to go up to my friend's studio to help master an album they are working on. His funds are low at the moment and I said sure lets rent a car on me and we will go up. He messaged me (I was at work) with 'well, I could always ask <namee> for help getting up there and then you don't have to pay'. She lives about an hour from my best friend and I knew that would be the time they 'hooked up' and I just thought it was a slap in my face when I was offering something to help our friendship trio and he was seeing it as a way of sleeping with somebody else.