Then, in July we went to a party and he saw this woman and he was blown away by her beauty - instant lust. I could tell and I told him to go talk to her but that if he decided he wanted to do something that night then he should assume that I may find somebody for the night too. Well, he went off and talked to her for a while but then did come back to me on the dance floor.
In the weeks that followed he kept telling me that he felt that getting together with her (ie sex) was something he simply felt he had to do. It upset me a little bit because of how intense he was being about it but I also appreciated that he was telling me about it. I addition, I was trying to keep in mind that this was the first time he felt an attraction he wanted to act on and could do so honestly. Virgin territory for him, I guess.
They also lived in different parts of the state. So, while I knew they were talking I also knew they had yet to 'hook up'. All the while he is trying to assure me 'nobody is trying to take your place, she knows she has to respect that or we can't be anything'. So, whilst I did ask a few times to be clued in about the nature of their relationship and never really got fully straight answers, I let it slide even though it was bugging me a bit. Part of what bugs me is that she isn't poly. She isn't even really an open relationship person. Also, she was an ex-hookup of my best friend (we are in the BBW community..it is a small world when it comes to those things) and I knew from him that she is the type to fall hard.
Then in September some big changes came in my life. I was recruited for a job and it brought me to live in LA which is where he is based. He had previously been trying to find a job closer to where I had been living but mine happened first and frankly pretty suddenly.
I had about two weeks to quit my other job, find an apartment in Los Angeles and move. He was amazing with helping me with all that and taking my breath away, he nearly instantly asked his wife for a divorce and moved in with me. In fact, he technically lived in my apartment before I did.