Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
I just now took the time to read through your blog. It was like a short story with a happy ending -- like, obviously this isn't the "ending", anything could happen yet, but it was so suspenseful! It went from awww, how nice, they're starting off their poly life and it sounds lovely to oh no, will they be ok??? to yay, things are working out!! Heh, so, thanks for the ride, and I'm very happy that it all is going well now.
I know this was a concern from a while back, and maybe you're past it now, but I did wanna say -- there doesn't necessarily need to be no place for you in the life of Shasti's baby, if she does indeed have a baby. You could be a sort of Aunt, if Shasti was ok with the idea of you being another loving adult in the child's life. A less intense role than the potential role of surrogate-dad, certainly, but still someone in the circle, someone who matters. Just throwing it out there!
AnnabelMore, I'm glad you enjoyed the ride. I really feel like I'm on a journey. Life seem more stable now and I'm relieved. We're still working through things as they present themselves, but I think that's to be expected.
Right now the whole topic of Shasti having a baby has kind of gone dormant. I expect that's just my perspective, though. I have a feeling that Shasti is proceeding with her plans whichever direction they may go. We visited her in late September and I expressed my concerns. Shortly after our wedding she had a discussion with Twitch about wanting to keep their relationship at the depth that it is now. I think there were two influences behind that: one, our wedding - he's now a married man and this is something she's struggled with as far as how her family would deal with it, and two, my concerns that I shared with her during our visit. I feel kind of bad for Twitch, but I'm really relieved, and that makes me feel guilty. Such a selfish thing on my part. I'm getting better about his relationship with her, though. He's been doing a lot of weeknight visits to see her when he's working within a commutable distance. I told him last week that I'm ready to give him back his weekend visits. I know that sounds terribly controlling, but I really didn't think I'd literally make it through a weekend with him gone to see her. That's a terrible emotional spot to be at. So, in contrast to that, being okay with him going away for the weekend is huge.
Tomorrow we're going to Shasti's big birthday bash that she and a friend are having. We're leaving early and spending the day in Chicago doing things before heading over to her house. This will be the first time Twitch has met her sister and other family members. He will not be there as her date, though. Orville will be filling that role. I feel for Twitch. He's been hurt that she has not introduced him to her sister or any of her friends. To his way of thinking it's not like she has to announce that he's her polyamorous, married boyfriend - he can just be a
boyfriend. He'd like to be included in real life activities with her. But now he'll be introduced as a friend and his wife which will mean that they can never do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing with her friends unless she outs herself.
Shasti's b-day is Monday. Twitch's is Tuesday. He's one year older than her. I'm six years older than him.
On another note that only people on here may understand, Orville contacted me yesterday about doing lunch today. I can't because I have therapy. I think he was trying to pregame the weekend; make sure I was in a good head space and all that. He's done that before when I've shared with him my struggles. In a way I appreciate it, but on the other hand it's kind of annoying that the only time I hear from him is when he thinks he needs to do damage control. I'm sure he had take-out in mind with a quickie to follow-up. Nothing like reinforcing the idea that consensual nonmonogamy is fun.