Originally Posted by redpepper
This is what I was trying to say, but I see now how the word "need" can be seen one of two ways. I would like to think that "need" and "strongly desire" can go hand in hand in terms of this conversation.
And I think they CAN go hand in hand - as long as the "handler" has the distinction clear in their own mind.
Because here's the fear - and we've all undoubtedly seen this.
Because true "need" is biologically wired into us for survival purposes, if we encounter situations where a defined (self?) need is threatened we run the risk of activating that circuitry. Once that circuitry has been activated it takes a strong and stable person to deactivate it - get things back into some sort of proper perspective. Back into the "strong desire" realm. Failure of that has resulted in some very sad and dramatic reactions - to include suicide, murder, etc.
So to my thinking, I don't encourage anyone to live in a way ( heavily needy) or use terms that may trip those triggers unjustifiably. Some can hold their personal definition of need securely - others .....can't.
So it seems we are all on the same page