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Old 12-13-2012, 02:20 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,262

I've hesitated to put my 2 cents until now.
I guess I do feel, more and more, in the context of all my relationships, that I am an "I" instead of half of a "We".
This resonates with me. Because I believe all people are whole and complete in of themselves.

I am not a "broken half" person seeking to find the partner to "complete me."

When I come together with DH, we are two complete, whole people. We come together to create a new thing -- a partnership thing. In this case, a synergy effect.
1 + 1 = 1 + 1 + the (1+1) partnership.
It is not

1/2 me + 1/2 him = 1 couple.

There would still be missing bits. It would be thinking it is

1/2 me + 1/2 him = 1 solid couple.

but really it is

1/2 me + 1/2 him = 1/2 me still with work to do on me + 1/2 him still with work to do on him + (1/2 + 1/2) partnership that is not as strong as it could be if it were made of two whole people. A (1/2 + 1/2) partnership is not a solid (1 + 1) partnership.

I've always felt whole in of myself so I was struggling with the original question. I just do not remember a time when I didn't feel I was a whole person.

I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this? Being in a longterm commited relationship, opening up, and feeling this transition from 'we are a couple doing poly' to 'I am a person living a poly life'?
Even before I knew the world "polyamorous" -- I knew I was me and I wanted to live how I wanted to live! Partnered or single -- I am wired polyamorous. My problems where the flip side. Other people not getting me, finding me odd, or "too independent" or "scary" or something. That I wasn't interested in doing "couple things" -- I was. I just wasn't interested in being joined at the hip! I wanted time/space to do independent things too!

I did not share in this thought of "seeking to find the one to complete me."

There are many Right Ones out there. They don't all necessarily come at the Right Time. But they are out there. I guess I thought it was more effective to just be the best me I could be so whenever a Right One type person came into my orbit I was the best me I could offer in dating partnership? A whole me? Not a broken 1/2 me?

I don't know that I articulate how I feel well but that's my stab at it. Hope that helps!


Last edited by GalaGirl; 12-13-2012 at 02:34 AM.
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