I was speaking of what MeeraReed posted. Your husband has GF issues and you don't like her. He waffles over what to do about his relationship with her.
Perhaps you've gotten to a point on that subject where you don't respect his choices? Maybe you've spoken your mind about it and he chose to not listen to your input and now struggle to respect him over the choices he did make?
You just sound shut down to him. I'm not saying anyone HAS to do the primary/secondary thing. I'm suggesting that each person you have a relationship with (intimate, platonic, familial) and feel a connection to is a we type association or its not a relationship with love in it. Yes, it can lessen when they behave in a way that hurts you or causes you to disrespect them. I'm suggesting you've hit that point with your husband to where "oh you need me? Meh, okay just this once but never again!" is an indication that this has happened for you with him. Your wants now supersede his feelings.
Yeah, I feel that way about some people too where my wants supersede theirs. I call them associations not relationships. I don't care enough about them to place their wants/needs on the same level I place my own or higher.