I guess you are right, but things don't work that way around my family. There has never been any 'outsider' to any meeting at all. Just us. I would receive some irritated looks if I asked to bring someone with me, that isn't related in any way and not official partner-material. I guess, I need to wait for an own celebration to come over the course of the next year and just act on my feelings in regard to both of them and see what happens. But that is something I will simply wait for and see how it goes. For now, I will shove my wishes away. We will spend Christmas together and new year and that's what matters most to me.
Another interesting development on the baby-front. There is still no positive notice so far (we are taking our time as it seems *sigh*) but yesterday something unpleasant happened. Lin and I had a condom accident. Neither he nor I (nor Sward) ever experienced this and it automatically brought up the question “Oh dear, well then ... ?” Chances are given, that this may lead to perception. So I talked to Sward in the evening.
He was quite relaxed and said that if that is what should happen, then it's OK and he won't be upset by the outcome. When I offered to take the morning-after pill, he even was kind of upset and told me that it doesn't matter and that this (potential) child deserves to live, no matter who the biological father may be. Because both would be father the moment it was there. Such a relieve. I had been thinking of a (child-) lifelong resentment in the back of someone's mind, if things wouldn't go according to our planned approach. Seems I was over-thinking a bit there.
When I talked to Lin later that evening (as he was curious how things went with Sward) there was such a positive outlook on his part regarding a biological child as well as the possibility of a child in our life in general. When we started this 'project' some months ago I noticed minor reluctance and insecurities coming from him. No major ones, he was about 80% positive that this was what he wanted and that he felt able to handle all of it. This seems to have changed without me noticing. He is really looking forward to being a father in the nearer future.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.