Excellent questions, thanks, Meera.
I kinda really want the romantic xmas with FBF. CBF family xmas is too tentative to plan on. CBF does not attach ridiculous amounts of romance to our relationship. When we've gone to the big family dinner, we usually get toasted (and stay there overnight) and do presents in the morning (except when he's had to go to work at o'dark hundred ~ which has been often). This year, CBF will have three days off, as SundayMonday are his usual days, and he will have xmas off. So, potentially I'll be gone and so will his family. I have no idea (yet, I will ask) if that has meaning for him or not. In the last two weeks he hasn't lifted a finger to arrange time to spend with me (I'm a little ticked about that, but it's actually not unusual), I'm not holding it against him, but it makes me think it won't matter much if I go off for xmas.
FBF has been invited to xmas with CBF's family often; and knows he's always welcome and we specifically always invite. He's quite anti-social, and averse to large family gatherings. I'm averse to my own family gatherings, but I quite enjoy other peoples' families.
We have spent New Year's together in the past, often (before the vee). New Year's has always been an extremely romantic holiday for me, but it has never been so with either of them. For them it is a drink and pass out kind of holiday.
However, CBF may be quite content with promise of New Year's. That's encouraging.