My primary partner (J) and his secondary (B) are together today for four hours (lunch, intimacy, etc- I don't really know). I have felt increasingly withdrawn this past week as today has gotten closer. I feel withdrawn from my primary partner and from my secondaries (I see both B and her husband as well). I feel totally closed up- like a turtle going into her shell. Why?? I don't want to be withdrawn. Is this situation too painful for me right now? I don't even know what I need to feel more relaxed. The time commitment J made today is really significant to me because he is in finals period (he is in law school), got up earlier than he would have, and rearranged his day to spend time with B. He can choose to manage his time however he wants, but the commitment is significant to me; neither of us have had a secondary where that kind of time has been rearranged and committed. I just don't want to feel how I have been feeling this past week. I don't know if I will feel more open again after they see each other today, or if I'll feel more withdrawn. These are really difficult feelings for me... I guess I am just looking for some support around feeling so uncomfortable and anxious and withdrawn.