Originally Posted by Magdlyn
but I do recall him saying that if you were to get another lover (besides your gf, him and your husband), he would draw away.
And yet somehow you did get 2 more bfs, and he has drawn away as he said he would. Your style of doing polyamory is not his... he's off doing his own thing... He lost the feeling of specialness he had, I think. His RP having 5 lovers was too much for him to handle.
I could be totally off base. Just my outsider's perspective.
I am sorry he won't communicate and make a new agreement, or a clean break. You're in limbo and that is a terrible place to be.
I have avoided commenting for the most part. Because I felt that it was better for me to remain uninvolved in the conversation-in case either of you needed a safe place to talk-and contacted me as I have both of you in the past.
But-having seen this brought up:
It was the first thing that crossed my mind as well.
I did see where he had said things changed-but even whilst he was promoting your pursuit of Brad-my impression was that it a "I can't change her-this is hte path of pursuit she desires even having been told the consequences-therefore I will promote her doing it and go on with life."
I COULD BE WRONG. I never spoke with Mono directly about any of it.
It was just my personal impression.
But-I do think it's worth a heart-to-heart discussion between you. Maybe it's true and even he isn't looking at it.
Maybe we're all offbase.
Or maybe we're all off base and if you talk about it you two will clarify what it is and that will help.
I don't know.
But-I'm sending lots of hugs to all of you as always!