Hi and welcome.
I am a woman... so I can't personally fully relate. But many guys here have your problem.
Are you on ok cupid? Read our thread her titled, your latest okc messages. This will teach you how to write a GOOD profile and how to message women in a way that makes you seem attractive and irresistable!
Perhaps you're already on okc and your profile sucks. Maybe you're guilty of scattering generic one line first messages to women.
Men who have good profiles and read women's profiles and comment on the profiles get good responses. Most men just look at a hot pic and send a message: your hot want to chat?
OK, next point.
I was separated from my husband in late 2008. I was not looking for a serious partner after having been married for over 30 years (I'm no spring chicken!).
However, in early '09 I joined okc and by late January met and started to fall in love with my gf. We are still together.
I wanted a male partner as well. It took me 3 YEARS (despite being a rather attractive, horny, loving WOMAN) to find me a good guy. Goddamn, did I kiss a lot of frogs. I must have dated 30 men in those 3 years. Had some fun, some good sex, some laughs, learned a lot about my kinks, BDSM... but no one really worked out.
I'd been out of the dating loop for over 30 years... so just dating was fun enough, though getting my heart knicked a few times wasn't! However, finally, in January of this year, I met my bf. Woohoo!
This summer he came down with Lyme disease and was quite ill and unable to get together much, so after having had a 7 month break, I went back to to okc. Well! I ended up dating one loser after another, shit, it fucking sucked. Now bf is all better and I am glad to be staying away from okc again.
Anyway, my point. Make sure you are healthy in body and mind. Interesting as well as interested. Make sure your okc profile is fantastic and your first messages are wonderful and enticing.
Or, like NYCindie said, join a local irl poly group. Or any kind of hobby group.
And make sure you and your wife have a strong primary relationship, and she isn't neglecting you for her secondaries!
Good luck, dude! Chin up!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw
me: Mags, female, pansexual, poly, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 37
Last edited by Magdlyn; 12-09-2012 at 05:17 PM.