Originally Posted by Cleo
I remember a time this summer when my husband was in a crisis and he asked me to skip a visit to C, my BF. My husband was upset and hurting and I wanted to be there for him, so I did what he asked. But at the same time I felt he was pushing a boundary, and had he asked me again, we would have had a big problem.
Originally Posted by Vinccenzo
This word crisis; I do not think it means what you think it means.
- Inigo Montoya
I don't understand; did you WANT to be there for him or didn't you? It sounds like this "crisis" was inconvenient for YOU and you did NOT actually "want" to be there. You only AGREED to "be there" because he ASKED. Then you call it "pushing a boundary" and got all resentful about "this better not happen again or else". Doesn't sound like you "wanted' to be there at all, in fact the opposite. Meh.
I may be just weird, but to me being in a relationship means that I REALLY DO care about the person and want to be there for them (especially in a so-called "crisis"). The other person is not "pushing a boundary" when they need or ask for my help or support. I can't seem to wrap my mind around it when people consider supporting their partner through a difficult time to be "a big problem". Is your boyfriend going to dump you because you stayed with your husband to help him? Would you not expect either or both of them to help YOU through a "crisis"? Why bother being with someone if whenever there is an unpleasant situation they go "Wah! You're pushing my boundaries!"
(Yes, I know I just made more enemies by saying these things above. It's ok - I already have enough friends.)