Originally Posted by Arrowbound
Just as a side note, I think people in general really don't mess with the concept because it makes it seem like the other relationships are disposable, and seeing as how there are a few here who are OSOs, that their feelings are disposable as well.
I'm not saying that's how you feel or what you think. I get what you mean about the thread though. It is true most of us (from what I've read anyway) are not interested or down for a veto as an option.
And doubly so when it's not just having people feel disposable, but to wrongly do so as a way to deal with jealousy is why people may in general frown upon it. But there are also times when people sabotage the other relationships that their BF/GF may have and when they do so it's almost never done in obvious ways. It's subtle, often times nothing more than a lack of respect can prevent things from working.
What may be most important is the whole concern for what people will think. Which is why it is always a good idea for groups, families, communities, and even countries to be very careful about the types of behaviors they as a society do not tolerate. Sometimes it is done without making a conscious group decision. But I don't want to highjack the thread, which I have a bad habit of doing elsewhere. However I hope that the OP can get good ideas and it is refreshing to hear people say 'talk to him', but with decisions as big as dissolving a marriage there can be a fine line between good advice and influencing a person that has not yet made the decision. I am not accusing anybody here of doing that, but I think there is a difference between advice after
a person has made a decision and asking how best to accomplish their goals and advice to someone who is not yet decided. These are the types are situations where good intentions can have negative influences without even realizing what has happened.