I'm so sad for you. How heartbreaking to have him distance himself after just having been with you in person. I don't blame you for feeling depressed and drinking. He's really dicking you around. "I don't love my wife, I am best friends with her, I love her, I am not in love with her, I am in love with her." And you and your bf are actually in different countries? All this effort and it's all long distance!
BTW, I wish people here would say "fucking" or "having sex" when they mean fucking/having sex. "Sleeping with" is such a weird euphemism. I was confused as to whether your bf and his wife were just "sharing a bed for sleep," because they only have one bed, as opposed to having sexual relations. That is why I said, can't he sleep on the couch, can't he go sleep at a friend's house!?
So, they were still having sex/fucking, all this time... ugh.
But now as far as you know, she is moving out. Is she getting an apartment, or just crashing with friends herself?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years