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Old 12-08-2012, 07:26 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naturalblue View Post
nycindie - we do have dates and we do set time aside for just us. Perhaps not as often as we should, due to money concerns, but it does happen.
Oh, that is good. We so often see married couples forgetting to romance each other and then the "new and shiny" other relationships always seem much more fun because there is no day-to-day responsibilities, like paying bills, housecleaning, etc. Date nights for the two of you don't have to cost money, either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by naturalblue View Post
But because we also live in reality, our lives also include a lot of paying bills and day to day crap. My point is that he doesn't have to do any of that with her, it's all vacation and having fun and lots of sex.
Oh, I hear ya, and this is very common. I always say to people that they should make dates to romance each other and invite the boyfriends and girlfriends over to fold laundry. If it's all about fun & sex, it becomes an escape.

Quote:
Originally Posted by naturalblue View Post
Look, I would prefer to allow him to keep this relationship because them breaking up is going to cause a lot of drama . . . but if having it is going to make him seriously consider leaving me for her then it's gotta go. I am 100% more important in this equation than she is. I know that's not the "poly" way of seeing things, but as I've stated several times in this thread, I have never considered us poly, just open. I'm the one he married, not her. I'm the one he promised to spend the rest of his life with, not her. I'm the one that has supported him nearly our entire relationship, not her . . . a part of me is a little scared that he will choose her so I'm being a chicken.
You really need to talk to him sooner rather than later. This is like a sword hanging over your head. The longer you wait, the more angry you will get, and the more your imagination will run wild.
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An excellent blog post against hierarchy in polyamory: http://solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-i...short-version/
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