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Old 12-08-2012, 05:22 PM
northhome northhome is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Western Europe
Posts: 193

Originally Posted by AggieSez View Post
Do you believe couple privilege exists? How would you define it?
When one has been together for a while a reservoir of shared experience is created that a third party joining the relationship has not been a part of. If (when) decisions are made based on that shared history and the third party is affected by that reference then, yes, couple privilege is invoked.

I do find the word privilege a bit loaded however.

How have you seen couple privilege manifest in poly/open relationships?

Is couple privilege harmful, neutral or beneficial in poly/open relationships, or in the poly/open community? Why or why not?
I've not personally seen any existence of a 'poly-community' so can't answer that. In poly-relationships it can be something that provides a glue that keeps the original relationship going through tough times (positive) or something that disempowers the third person (negative). It's all down to how conscious everyone involved is.

How has couple privilege affected your personal experience of poly/open relationships?
It is simply a reality, we've been together longer.

How would you like to see couple privilege addressed in the poly/open community at large?
What community?

If you are part of a primary couple that chooses to handle relationships with additional intimate partners in hierarchical ways that may seem to reinforce couple privilege, what is your rationale or intent for those choices?
We've been together longer. We can't do anything about that, it's simply part of the picture. If you don't like that, then we're not good people to connect with. The ones who like it see it as an asset and a sign that we have skills in creating a long-term relationship that can weather stormy waters.
Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.

- Tao Te Ching
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