Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
I don't mind being vulnerable, generally, but it's kind of terrible to be vulnerable to someone who's not vulnerable in the same way to you.
Sometimes I wonder how it is that I, a 50-something woman who has been in a gazillion relationships, experienced many hardships, and in the midst of dissolving a 12-year marriage, could feel so vulnerable with someone.
I am pretty darn certain that whatever makes this difference in affection and love so "terrible" is not the feeling of love itself. Love just is. Nor is it the feeling of being vulnerable, which can be so exciting. It is the wishing things were different, the hoping for more than what I have, and the belief that what he can give is not enough somehow, which creates pain. I have come to realize that it is expectation and longing that hurts - not the love and vulnerability we feel. I keep working on letting go of that, and to just love. I keep reminding myself that to love someone is to let him be who he is, and to create a space for him to feel free.
I'll stop rambling now. Oftentimes, when you write, Annabel, there is a sentence or two that just sparks some thoughts and feelings that have been tumbling around my head.
But that vulnerability... is such a beautiful thing. I think letting ourselves feel that vulnerable really helps us to also become strong. Two sides of the same coin.