Heh, it's true; you're pretty good at picking up on my bad mental habits... have you been talking to my therapist? ;D (And yes, I do have one; I suspect I'm due to talk over this some more with her. She's quite familiar with the way I sometimes get into these all-or-nothing extremes that you're seeing!)
(Thank you for the e-hugs, too.)
It seems pretty clear from both your and Daysleeper's responses that I need to talk to M and R more about my various headbees (by which I mean my often-illogical anxieties — that's a term I picked up from R, ha).
Some decisions I can't make yet (I don't know whether a LDR would be right for me), but... *deep breath* ...that's okay. I can cross that bridge when I come to it. I'm definitely letting myself imagine every sort of worst-case scenario, and I shouldn't: this relationship is at its best when I just take it as it comes.
So a conversation is on the horizon, it seems! Beyond being more open about my sexual needs (which is sort of a separate matter), I think I'd like to sit down with both R and M (instead of just R) to talk about my worries — not least because I do trust them to reassure me; I think I just need to hear the words said out loud. I'll let you all know how it goes.