Am I hearing this right?
- You and your friend and your wife tried on the "V" shape thing in the romance department. You guys all broke up the romance but remained friends.
- You are having a hard time because you miss it. (Your own break up feelings.)
- You are also having a hard time because you want to look to future in yoru healing process. You and wife eventually want to continue to explore polyamory and find your poly partner. While still being friends with your ex as you begin dating anew at that point in time.
To me that sounds like a conversation in friendship trio.
To let them know your temperature check in right now:
- I am still working through break up feelings. Love being friends and good exes, but go easy on me here. I am processing still.
- At some point in future I'm pretty sure I'll want to polydate with wife again. Everyone have that on the horizon. So it doesn't catch them off guard. Friend, I know you want to date too and perhaps marry/have kids. I'd be welcoming of your new person -- we are friends and would be willing to be friends with your new person too.
- Let me know if there's anything I need to know about your guys and where your temperatures are at with things. I want to be respectful, but still my move my own things forward in good time.
All you can do it report your internal weather while you process.
Hang in there. Healing takes time and you are healing. You will be ok.