I honestly feel like I am going to dark places i have never been before and frankly never want to be in again.
I know it is not fun to feel. Things seem dark. I am sorry you are hurting. *hug*
But Life choices often come this way. Where it is not about clear cut easy "win or lose" type choices. It's about "This choice stinks... that one stinks...well, which choice is the least stinky then?"
It is a Time of Discernment.
It's normal to not WANT to face hard choices. But it must be done whether you want to or not. To be able to move forward.
GL to all of you! I hope you find your way soon.