Whathappened - I wanted to thank you for your comments on this thread. Some of it along with some chats with my SO enabled me to articulate why some situations bother me. Thanks.
Other than that, I find this thread quite bothersome. So much sexism and assumptions about what women want and what men want. I dislike that sort of stuff - I think it encourages people to see each other as memes rather than individuals and for me, that is a problem.
Originally Posted by PolyLinguist
All time spent with your kids is quality time. If I study Japanese while they play on Nintendo it is quality time - they know their father is trying to maintain his intelligence rather than let it run down, and this will make them think (eventually).
I so disagree with that. All time spent with kids is certainly not quality time. When I was a kid, my dad loved being a father. Nothing made him happier than being engaged with his kids. He taught us to ski, to mend cars, to build things, to paint. He read with us and watched Dr. Who (long-running British sci fi show) with us. Not just with us - with our friends and with his friends too.
We loved being with him and his enthusiasm for engaging with us is a big part of why people loved him so much.
I doubt very much if I would have such positive childhood memories of my dad if our time together had been spent with me reading books while dad did his own thing.
I'm kind of offended the notion that all time spent with children or with friends or partners is equal - it isn't at all to me.
But then I'm not likely to ever find myself being in a friendship with somebody who sees women as memes and who thinks that spending an evening in my company checking their own e-mails and the football scores is as fulfilling for me as spending an evening in my company doing something with me.
I do wish you luck in your search.