Welcome to our forum.
I'm sorry you're in a somewhat frustrating situation, I know you'd like to forge ahead, while your wife is holding behind. I think that might change in time, but you'll need some patience. As the others mentioned, you'll need to build up some trust and strengthen your primary relationship, as usually an affair will weaken that trust.
Take your time and have a look around at the various threads here. There is a lot you can post, read, and learn; think of it as an opportunity.
I hope you'll enjoy your time here.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"