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Old 12-07-2012, 01:58 AM
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PolyLinguist PolyLinguist is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
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OK guys, so I have definitely learned something thanks to you. Lots of women want what I thought it was mostly men who wanted it, and vice versa. Thank you.

I don't think this will make much difference to my dating approach, though. I approach pretty much everyone in the same manner. Hello, my name is this, what's your name, what do you do, where are you from (especially if they have an accent). If it's a poly occasion, I may then bring in some comment on polyness, or ask what their experience (if any) is.

If it's a woman, and she has some very attractive feature, I may praise it, although according to Neil Strauss you should never do this. Strange, since many women will actually respond with a smile and a thank you. I now know that this is not a female-only feature, but then I wouldn't normally praise a man's outfit or beard. Maybe I should.

It's what comes after that is the hardest, because it is hard to maintain a conversation unless the other person responds in some significant way. It's a bit strange that if I ask someone, say, why you decided to study nursing, why they don't follow up and ask me, say, why I decided to settle in Vancouver. If and when I meet the right person, this won't be a problem, because she will indeed follow up with some questions, figuring that I didn't start a conversation because I had nothing else in life to do.

As for the five ways of giving love, I'll get to that discussion some other time. I do consider such things mumbo-jumbo - the inclusion of "quality time" is a red flag for me. I encountered it when I was raising my kinds, and it made me angry. All time spent with your kids is quality time. If I study Japanese while they play on Nintendo it is quality time - they know their father is trying to maintain his intelligence rather than let it run down, and this will make them think (eventually). It is hard to imagine what time I spend in the company of my wife would not be quality time. When I sleep, maybe? Or take a shower?

Anyway, don't let me continue on this, I just get angry and then get your backs up! I am not North American by birth, and managed to escape psycho-babble in my upbringing.
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