Originally Posted by APAcircleofthree
My back story is long, winded, actually, so I won't get into it unless I'm asked.
I am very new to this. This new journey of life was started by an emotional affair 8 months ago. We made it this far, and I am pleased to say that.
He only looked into this "way of life" because he was so confused about how he was feeling about another woman. We've been married 16+ years, and to be honest when he told me he loved another woman, and the connection they had was intense, he said he really didn't know what to do, I didn't know either. He told me he loved me, no less than the day I found out and didn't want a divorce or to break up our family. But... he really wants to share his life and love with her also.
Both of us women, mono! So it's a Vee relationship that is "trying" to be formed. I am having problems emotionally, but have come a long way. I understand we both love him, and want to be apart of his life. The problem is that only after 8 months, they are planning on a commitment ceremony, and he wants me to acknowledge her as a co-wife. Right now I can't do that, and that reason is because I have not met her yet. Our son is meeting her tomorrow, and that bothers me... a lot! So, the ceremony and him introducing her to our son is bothering me, and I am looking for quideance on how to deal with this, as I think it is moving so fast.
This isn't what I consider to be poly. This looks like a typical cheater to me. And where is your inner voice?
This is what I would do.
I would definitely introduce myself, along with the son to this woman. So she can see and you can see that yes, this is real. They are sleeping together. No way is he not banging her. This woman is apparently here to stay. And since you've married a dud, I'd look into securing your self for a divorce. I'd definitely let her have him-all of him. Let them go on their merry way. You do not need someone in your life who is out fulfilling HIS needs, while ignoring YOURS. My goodness, woman. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER!! I hope you realize this and do not settle for this mans scraps.
YOU didnt choose to be part of a triad. He has no right to force this upon you. I feel you're weak and thats why you didnt pack up and go! I dont think its because you love him at all. It's about you and your lack of autonomy.
I could be totally wrong. I am open to that.
Whatever. Either way. I REALLY do wish you strength and peace of mind. ((((((giant hugs))))))