Thread: Confused Newbie
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:24 AM
Love2Bake Love2Bake is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
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Default My Two Cents

Quote:
Originally Posted by jewels6675 View Post
Here's my story...

I've been dating a man, who has a live-in girlfriend who is more than half his age for the last four months and feel as though I am in love with him. He explained poly to me when we first met, and I have since been doing a lot of research on the topic and have read numerous forum topics on it, but I have always been in monogamous relationships. Prior to his current relationship, he had also always been in monogamous relationships. But I'm not sure this is something I can or want to do....I want him all to myself.

He has also just asked me to move in with them...which I am considering...but am afraid I will be overly jealous...a part of me wants to say yes, because I feel if if we are able to spend more time together that he will then want to be with me rather then with her.

My question is this....is my way of thinking all wrong???
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He doesnt want only you. He also wants his girlfriend-the one that is more than half his age. Yep. He is into her. Her age may be a huge part of his attraction. So be careful how you try to put her down. She has wisdom and experience over you. And that can be VERY sexy.

He isnt going to commit to you and only you. He met you, while living with another woman.

I think you need to get your head out of the clouds. This guy isn't monogamous. If you choose to be with him, they you are choosing to share him with his other woman, and probably anyone else he meets along the way.

To think you'll get in there and take him away from her is funny. You'll lose. I guarantee you that. You'll play wifey and try to be better than her. But you'll wind up moving out in a huff because he never gives in.

Just chalk it up as a loss and move on. I'd be single for a while if I were you and work on me for a while. Nobody should settle for less than what they want. You don't want to share him so why would you even consider settling for sharing him? I think it's time for you to work on you for a while. Then get back in the dating game. You've got to be healthy and strong to attract healthy and strong.

Just my two cents!
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