How to return to old normal
A year ago my wife, best friend and I started a threesome. It was the first time my wife and I had done this. Everything was amazing. We all love each other. His and her friendship grew deeper and they are best friends too.
Our trio used to include sexy time; all three of us together and sometimes she and he alone. We all made mistakes along the way, so the sex stopped. Now itís the platonic three musketeers. I miss what used to be. Itís been four months since the last time there was any physical intimacy but everything else has stayed the same. We still spend as much free time together as possible. He still sleeps over at least one night every weekend. We have fun together and are happy spending time in a trio. Sometimes the more fun we are having the more difficult it is for me to stave off the sadness. The happy is peppered with sadness.
I believe that if youíre having sex with someone you love then itís a relationship and if youíre having sex with a best friend itís a relationship. To me there is the loss of a relationship. Neither one of them want to acknowledge my point of view. The whole experience was just something that happened, repeatedly, for eight months. Am I wrong? Maybe itís because from their point of view we talked about it once or twice but mostly it just happened out of nowhere. For me it was something Iíve thought about doing since I was a teen.
I have tried to explain how Iím feeling but they donít want to hear what Iím saying. I know they both would continue our threesome but they (he especially) are afraid of ruining our friendship and they want to protect the long term friendship. I believe he is also afraid of getting too comfortable and missing an opportunity to meet a lady, get married, and have a family. None of us can really conceive of a life without the other two.
I am having a really tough time right now dealing with a return to old normal. Itís especially difficult because the one year anniversary of the inception of our trio is this weekend.
It feels like I am trapped in a limbo where Iím doing what makes them happy even though there are days where it makes me miserable. They have told me to get over it and move on but I am stuck and canít figure out how to move on while maintaining everything else in the status quo. Help, I need advice. What am I supposed to do now?