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Old 12-06-2012, 09:06 PM
Numina Numina is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 139

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Is Chipmunk just an additional sex partner for Airyn, or are they in love? I wonder because she seems to be a lot of work for him, though not as much as she is for you. Why does he keep her around? I just don't get it at all. She's such a mopey child, must be some darn good sex - but even that doesn't seem worth the trouble she puts you both through if it's just sex or guilt or not knowing what else to do now that he's in the thick of it. Even if he does love her, love isn't enough to make it work. What does he see in her, and why can't he enjoy a relationship with her if she lives with roommates somewhere and sees him less often? From here, it seems like he wants to be in control of where she is and what she does. If I were him, I'd have broken it off and kicked her out long ago.

And it seems like she is just staying because she has a warm bed and doesn't have to make it on her own as long as you two provide for her.
Some of this is obviously true, and some of it is partly true.

They are in love. I don't think that the sex is necessarily all that "great", but that could just be my perception. Personally I prefer a partner who is more actively a participant. Someone who moves, makes sounds, shows that they are enjoying themselves, and that they are enjoying their partner. To me she doesn't seem to be doing that, but then I have not participated in sex with them in months things may have changed.

I think Airyn is dealing with guilt, and a lot of not knowing what to do. He believes that for Chipmunk this relationship survives on daily contact. That she feels second, and less important. This is why she demands so much of his attention when we are all together. He believes that her moving out will amplify this feeling of secondness, will reduce their daily contact to occasional few days a week, and that she'll end it over his inattention and proximity. I point out that most relationship start out with a lot less proximity, and that phone calls, and texts are daily contact options when he's not going to see her face to face that day. I can't fix her lack of social and relationship skills All I can do is tell her the time to grow up is now.

Part of why she is still with us is because she wants to not have to make it on her own. She wants someone else to take care of her so she doesn't have to. She relies on us to do most things for her. This is part of the problem. I'm tired of it. It's time she faces reality. She is living with a married man, and can not have 100% of his attention just because they are sharing the same space at that moment.

*Sigh* I'm not in a good place, angry, then sad, then angry. I really don't see that I am being unreasonable. But maybe it's to much to ask. I don't know. Airyn says he is preparing him self for the end. That he feels he has no control in where this will go from here. That it is all between she and I. Sounds to me like resentment.
Bi-sexual female

Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).

No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.

Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
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