Originally Posted by nycindie
There are plenty of women, especially those past child-bearing age or who have always opted to be childfree, and those in urban areas, who would be happy in relationships without angling to be The One and Only or needing to live together. Most women I know have busy lives and don't want to be anyone's chief cook and bottle washer, as the saying goes. Many women want multiple lovers themselves, so don't want a full-time primary relationship. I think this thread has bandied quite a few sexist ideas back and forth about "what women want," and how to give it to them, but there is so much diversity of desire and opinion, one cannot make such generalities. Just stop fretting and go out and meet people.
I for one am not fretting, but I do like to get into intellectual discussions of complex topics (obviously). And I assure you, I do get out and meet people.
But I don't agree that you can't make generalities. There are some basic patterns that I see in what men and women want from relationships, and there are important differences.
I propose a game, what is called in science a "thought experiment". I propose to describe a dream poly date, say an afternoon passed together. Don't worry, I won't get into pornographic details. I predict that 80% of men would say, yeah, that sounds about right. I sure would like to experience that. And I predict that 80% of women will say, no, that's not going to happen. Something is missing.