It's been a couple of weeks and we actually have 2 days withtout tears. The dynamics change daily.Some issues come and go, other are lingering with no clear answers yet. There are no issues with any of us when the 3 of us are in bad. The issues arise when it's one on one and the 3rd person feels left out or has fear issues. We cannot all 3 be together 24/7. M2 wants alone (sexual) time with M1. I do believe m2 and newbie would like that to be an option between them, which at this point it is not. It's baby steps,a few tears and alot of discussion. I often ask myself, what will it take away from me
(newbie) if m1 and m2 share some private sexual time. I can think of nothing yet it stirs feeling of inadquitness, nausea and heart pain. Being that m1 and m2 have been together for 16 years there are alot of old emotional damage that seems to be falling to the wayside. It makes my heart soar to see m1 falling in love with m2. It hurts to see or imagine m1 and m2 in sexual situations without newbie, if only because am a newbie and am learning my way around the female bodies whereas they know each others bodies very well and they work each other. Surprisingly m1 is still at the point where newbies heart come first among all. I want to be able to walk out of the house and imagine anything happening at home with m1 and m2 without bursting into tears and having a heavy heart. M2 has the least amount of time home, leaving m1 and newbie to thier own devices for hours on end, no questions asked. But I see in her eyes, sometimes she knows and likes it and sometimes she's trying to bury her hurt feelings. M1 is in complete control. She is the top of the triangle. She also seems to have the weakest heart. We all agree, we will get thru this and we are in for the long haul.