Originally Posted by PolyLinguist
Hi again. Interesting discussion. I wish some others would join in!
You seem to think that all I want (or wanted) is to get laid. Not at all, I wanted permanence, affection, love.
Here's another, joining in.
After a year of being half in this poly world, here's the thing I still don't understand, and maybe you can explain. Judging by the sounds of it, you already have
permanence, affection, and love from your wife. Why are you seeking it from a second person? What do you hope to gain by having these things from your wife and another woman? What will it add to your life?
I completely get an open marriage and swinging if it's the desire to have sex with other people. I completely understand happening
to meet a second person, falling in love, wanting to be with them, a relationship developing, and not wanting to lose either person. (For reference, my bf has come to this much more as having been a swinger, then transitioning into him and his wife dating separately, but in reality, they've been doing this for 15 years and I'm the first genuine real-life relationship
he's had, and I think it took him by surprise.)
But I have yet to understand why people decide to deliberately seek out a second relationship when they're married.
I'm just curious about your reasons for doing so.