*Sigh of relief* That is so good to know.
Like I said, I am completely new to poly and I do feel like I am in a bit over my head, but it is great to know that it's not just me, and that I'm not being childish or anything.
I have been trying to express what I am feeling. I do find this really hard, as it was never something that I did in previous relationships, or if I did, it was always greeted with negativity or anger (or in one relationship - violence) so it has been quite bizarre to be with someone who genuinely wants to know if I am upset or confused or jealous or whatever else. I guess I'm still coming to grips with that whole aspect, But he has been really great - he knows that I was married and knows some of why it didn't work out, but doesn't know the ins and outs of why I have so much trouble talking about my feelings or anything... I guess that's a conversation that should happen too :-)
A handful of my friends know that we've been seeing each other for a few months, but only a few know that he has other partners but after a few attempts to talk to close friends about it, I haven't tried again.
The reaction has pretty much been "What, that's stupid, he's just using you for sex"
, or "You can't really be his girlfriend if he already lives with his girlfriend."
and things along those lines.
I don't believe that he's just using me for sex - if that were the case he could literally just go out anywhere and pick up a random girl - even though it's only been a small amount of time, I feel like we have a really strong connection and in spite of what my friends think - a healthier relationship than I have ever been in before, because it's basically the first time I have been able to talk about what I'm feeling and the first time in a really long time that I have felt like myself and been a little bit secure in that.
And the girlfriend factor - well, again - new to the whole poly thing, but I know that he loves me. I love him and we are more than just a friends-with-benefits thing, so I don't care if they don't understand that, but it does
make it difficult when I don't really have anyone who can get past the thought of "So... he's cheating on his girlfriend with you, but she knows about it, that's stupid" which is what the few people I have confided in seem to say, which just makes me cross because I know that it's not like that.
Sorry... I am rambling now
I am usually a pretty glass-half-empty person - but I am oddly optimistic on this - I don't know how long this relationship is going to last, but at this moment - I think that yes, I can get what I want from this relationship. We are still working at it, I guess - a few bumps (His overseas girlfriend is here for the fortnight and he has spent most of that time with her and has not contacted me much at all in the last week - but I saw him yesterday and expressed my thoughts on that. I know he only has a limited amount of time to spend with her, plus he needs to spend time with his girlfriend who he lives with (not to mention time for work, sleep etc), but I did feel a little neglected for a moment.
Other than that, yes - I do think that the Right Now Me of this relationship is doing well