Ouch! Break up
So, I broke up today with the married guy I had been cheating with. I had wanted to for a long time. I know it wasn't ethical.
He was all over the map. He'd say we were just friends and then kiss me when he saw me... I finally asked him to tell his wife about me and open it up as a friendship because we weren't having sex anyway, and he basically said no. So, I said I needed some space. The thing is that I keep suspecting he met someone else, and is just telling me he wants to work on his marriage.
I know people here disagree, but my feeling was if two people are unhappy in marriage and can take refuge in each other, even tho it's unethical it's something. But I started to feel that "rather than that" I was just another girl on Cupid - and one that maybe he got to close to?
This entire thing makes me question my own poly (again!) since I don't want two husbands, the experiment seems doomed for failure. With each guy, I think the will want to move closer or break it off...How do other people do it? I'm just not up to getting attached to a stream of folks and having them then leave my life...and I'm just not up for casual. I always end up being too attached or too disattached.
Does anyone else have 'attachment issues?" Also, how can I keep my guy as a friend? Should I insist he tell his wife?