I have been reading along since you started this blog and I feel like speaking up now.
From the way you describe things in your life and what is happening right now, I feel quite concerned. Your tone is getting rougher and more tense and you mind things, I feel you wouldn't gotten as upset about some weeks ago. This is taking its turn on you and I fear that things will get ugly faster than later by now.
You need your time and space. It becomes clearer and clearer and I would try to make that possible soon. Chipmunk is obviously getting on your nerves and it won't take long till every little thing she does, says, thinks will cause major upset for you.
And I think that Ayrin did the right thing to consider Chipmunks work situation before his commitment towards you. Its her direct surrounding and a place she needs to get along as well as possible with people. I understand that it hurts and I hate being oblivious towards my partner Lin as well for the sake of my husband occasionally or the other way round, but that's just common sense in those cases. But you are right about her behaviour. She needs to grow up and mind the consequences of her actions. I totally get your frustration with her and Ayrin for 'protecting' her.
In regard to the second day and the walking while holding hands part: Just speak up. And do so in the given moment at hand. If Chipmunk doesn't know what causes your 'mood-swings' and Ayrin doesn't get you as well from time to time, speak up when the situation arises. It will cause some unpleasant days and maybe will ruin a date or two, but they aren't mind readers as well. Tell them what makes you uncomfortable and don't take some unproductive consideration for the other relationship when yours is strained so much.
I hope you will be able to sort this out and find a liveable solution in the nearest future.
Edit: Oh dear, there was more to come, I was answering the shopping incidence and the date for photos.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.