Time for some Changes.
So I have written her a long email. She is very hard to talk to, and there is never anything close to a conversation going on. Every time I have attempted to have a conversation with her about this relationship, or the things going on it has been just me talking. She barely responds, and when she does it is either very negative, a no comment type response, or conflict with something she said earlier in the conversation.
I talked to Airyn about my email, and asked him to read it. To let me know what he thinks, if I'm being too harsh or going over board. I also tell him that it covers basically everything he and I have talked about on and off for a few weeks. He reads it, corrects some grammar, misspellings and the like. When he's done he tells me that it's fine. That everything I've said is true, and that he agrees with all of it. His only suggestion is that I need to wrap it up at the end, and that I should say something positive. That it ends too abruptly, and on a negative note. So I add a better ending, Airyn is still not really happy with it, but he leaves it alone. We talk about when a good time to send it to her is. He tells me that he intends to tell Chipmunk to read it like 5 times, and that he agrees with the whole thing and not to be looking to him to comfort her. I tell him it's ok if she feels she needs comfort, so long as she realizes the he's not going to be telling her that I'm being unreasonable.
We decide that since Tuesday (yesterday) is her day off, and we are taking her to an appointment to get her first Tattoo that I should wait to send it till I'm going to bed. I explain that I want her to have time to read it, think about it, and talk to him about it before she has to see me again. So it's agreed.
Tuesday morning I'm getting Wolf ready for school, and Chipmunk wakes up. Telling me that she woke up early worrying because I wasn't home yet. I remind her that this time of year is really hectic at work, and it's normal for me to be a little late. I tell her that I'm walking Wolf to school, and will get them up just after 8am when I get home. I'm making breakfast, and tell her that I'll make coffee to wake Airyn with. As I'm leaving she says she'll make sure Airyn gets up. I tell her that it's ok it's still really early and we have plenty of time.
I get home and they are in the shower. I change and head back to the kitchen to cook pancakes (I made the batter before I left), and I start brewing Airyn's coffee. When they get out of the shower, I'm hurrying around the kitchen. Airyn comes in for kisses, and tells me he had a nightmare about me. I ask what happened. He says that he dreamt I didn't come home, and he went out to search for me. I nod and give him hugs, and tell him I've had a bad one about him to. That I dreamt that I came home and he wasn't there. He asked if that was last night. I tell him no it was a couple nights ago. Give him another hug, and tell him that yesterday (Monday) was a good day. He agrees and we talk about that for a couple mins. Then he goes back to the bedroom to finish getting ready.
We go into downtown. Everyone is in a good mood, find parking and arrive right on time for Chipmunk's appointment. She talks with her tattoo artist. We are at his private, studio. It's his shop and is very private, his also a nice guy. I had not met such a happy tattoo artist before. So they discuss the tattoo a min, he places the outline image on her, and lays her on a swivel bed thing. it takes two hours, and we chat and goof off while he's working. Airyn is taking photos. Then the artist asks how we all know each other. Chipmunk answers by saying that she is our roommate. I look at her funny, and say that the two of them meet in a photography class. We all start talking about photography, and the conversation moves on.
When we are done we go to Just a Guys place to show her tattoo off. On our way Chipmunk wants to stop for lunch. It's decided to stop for Pizza in Deep ellum, and bring it to Just a Guy's place. We let Just a Guy know, get our Pizza, and meet him at his place for lunch. He's on his lunch break from his at home PC job, so we hang out for a while. It's a HUGE pizza, and we are all tired and lethargic afterwords. So the three of us head home. When we get home Airyn helps Chipmunk lube and re-cover her new tattoo, and Chipmunk lays down for a nap.
While she is napping I help Airyn put together his resume for Just a Guy to refer him and possibly get Airyn an at home PC job like Just a Guy now has. Then I talk to Airyn about how the day went. I tell him that it was a good day. That Chipmunk still hasn't talked to me about how to handle our relationships when someone asks. I tell him that she didn't need to call herself a roommate while being tattooed that she could have answered the question he actually asked, and not tried to explain our living arrangement. Airyn just laughed, and said that at least she's taking their last conversation seriously. I tell him she missed the point. I also tell him that I don't want to ruin her night with my email, but that I still need to send it to her. He tells me that I can put it off for a while and send it later if I'd like.
I reread it, make a couple changes and changing how it ends to include the Tattoo thing, and have Airyn read what I added. He likes it and says it's a better ending. That he didn't think I really got what he was saying yesterday about ending it on a lighter, happier note. So we talk about my possibly sending it when I leave for work. This still gives them a couple hours to talk about it, and doesn't end the nice evening that it's looking like they could have.
I'll copy the whole email into here in another post.
So I get up for work, and still feel awkward about the email. They were laughing and having a good time watching a show together. So we talk about putting it off again. i tell him that I have to send it. That if i don't I'm being hypocritical when I say that I'm working on, and doing better with my communication. We decide to wait till the next day so that she can read it when she gets home from work, and have time to talk with Airyn about it while they have peace, and quite. Wolf and I will both be asleep. I'll be getting up a couple hours after she gets home, but will only be home for a few mins before I leave for work. This sounds like it will work, but Airyn says he's going to tell Chipmunk that I'm sending her this email so she has a heads up. I tell him he has access to my email if he feels sending it to her right after telling her about the email is better then he can do that.
Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).
No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.
Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married