I had been looking forward to Friday (Nov. 30th), I was trying not to get my hopes up. This past Friday was to be my second Friday where Airyn would not being leave to bring Chipmunk lunch in the middle of OUR day. Airyn had made comments about us getting some actual time together as well. So we were both looking forward to it.
I had put together an outfit in my head for sexy wear. I intended to change while Airyn was driving Chipmunk to work. Some how I ended up going with them to Chipmunk's job. We were going to pick up a couple things there, and Chipmunk wanted to get a few things for us to bring home. So we go in I pick up what i was looking for, and chipmunk does her shopping. We get to the register, and it's a newer fellow. He recognizes Chipmunk and Airyn as boyfriend and Girlfriend. Chipmunk has told many of her co-workers that Airyn is her boyfriend, so that was no surprise.
Up till this point it had been a good day. Then this cashier asked Airyn who I was. Airyn is on the spot. We both know that Chipmunk is uncomfortable disclosing the dynamic of our relationship. She has not said anything about it, she has only ACTED uncomfortable. So we are Mind readering this. Never a good thing. When Chipmunk first told us that she had told co-workers that Airyn was her boyfriend. I told Airyn that was fine as long as I wasn't made to feel uncomfortable being obviously in a relationship with him too (when ever he and I are there).
So this cashier asks his question. Airyn looks at me and say, Numina (he of course used my real name). "she's a roommate."
I was so pissed. I couldn't look at him, at Chipmunk, or at the cashier. We walked out with our bags. I was seething. It was obvious to both of them. Airyn's trying to tell me how surprised he was by that question, and that roommate was a good non answer. I told him I'm not your F'ing ROOMMATE. It only takes a couple mins to get home. And I'm saying things to Airyn like: Glad to know how you feel about me, and that your still more concerned with how Chipmunk feels then with how I feel. AS we are getting out of the car he tells me Great you've just ruined our day together. I still won't look at him, and say, "I RUINED OUR DAY?"
We get inside, and I tell him I'm going to sit on the balcony, he goes in and gets in the shower. But I'm very upset. Once again I'm stuck with the shitty end of things, and Chipmunk has gotten what she wants. So I go back in and curl up on the bed in tears. Airyn gets out of the shower, and is sounds shocked that I'm so upset. He goes back to telling me how he was on the spot, and didn't know what to say. That he knew someone was going to be upset no matter what he said. I told him that it was nice he chose me. To which he says he didn't. So I point out that he made Chipmunks day, and I'm the one being told I'm just a roommate. He talks about it being Chipmunk's job, and how he didn't want to make her uncomfortable at her job. I told him that I had already talked to him about this. That I told him it wouldn't be cool if I was ever made to feel uncomfortable because he and I have a relationship now that she has called him her boyfriend. That it is Chipmunk who chose not to consider how this could be an issue.
I told him that I'm tired of being his second consideration. That I'm tired of this whole thing. That I have tried to be considerate, and fair to their relationship. That they are both still not treating me fairly. We are both really heated, and Airyn is saying he's tired of having to be so careful of very one. I ask him when has he ever said something publicly that upset Chipmunk, or belittled her relationship to him? Things do calm down, Airyn Apologizes multiple times. Tells me the question caught him off guard, and he didn't know what to do. That neither of us was saying anything. I asked why he could just say the truth. his answer wasn't a good one either. He says that he's not the kind of person who can go out and chose to be an ass to chipmunk, that he can't just go, oh your not so important, so I'm going to say something I know will upset you. I say I can understand that, and ask why it's then ok to do exactly that to me. Why is he OK with doing that to me. He says he's not. And I tell him that his words and acts tell me other wise.
In the end he tells me that next time he'll just stand there and look at Chipmunk and leave it to her to answer. I told him I didn't say I was his wife because Chipmunk has acted as if that makes her uncomfortable, and hasn't talked with us about what can be said. She hasn't given it any thought. That it is disrespectful to me as a person, and to my relationship with him. I also tell him that I don't deserve to be treated this way, and that I won't be going up there with the two of them ever again, that I may not even be willing to go up there with just him. I point out that Chipmunk got that job because I introduced her to people at this store. That he and I have been frequent patrons there for a long time. This is our local place. He and I have been seen as a couple all this time, and now she's going around calling him her boyfriend, and not considering how she will handle being questioned about my connection to Airyn.
Airyn has a conversation with Chipmunk afterwards. He tells me what he intends to tell her, and the tells me about the conversation after talking to her. That he said that this time, but never again, she will have to figure out what to say on her own next time. He also tell her that her attitude towards me in general has been crappy, and she needs to watch her self, and get over what ever it is. He tells me he reminder her that I am getting nothing out of this relationship. He also tells me that she came back to him saying that she needed to hear that, and that her irritation with me started with my mood swings. I ask him if she has any idea what causes (or caused) what she is calling mood swings. He says they didn't talk about that, and so he doesn't know.
Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).
No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.
Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married