Just FYI-I hadn't read any of the posts but your first one Jools when I replied.
Now I have-and I stand by what I said.
I DO wish you the BEST and hope that at some point she can come to see that mature, rational adults recognize and accept that every single person is an individual FIRST and in their relationship SECOND (i.e. you are a person first and her daughter second).
That in and of itself leads them to understanding that they have NO right to control ANY OTHER PERSON in life and in fact, in trying are actually lying to themself by creating the illusion in their mind that it's even POSSIBLE-when truthfully it is not possible.
The more we fight to keep ourselves within the illusion of safety we've created in those little mental boxes, the more miserable we make ourselves.
(slight hijack- RP-tell your hubby I don't know if Maca will ever finish this book, but it's doing wonderful things in me).
"Love As Thou Wilt"