Northhome, J. and I were platonic friends for close to a year before we actually went out on a date. I had known him for over a year before we started a physical relationship. We broke up, the first time, last February. We resumed things last April, but waited another three months to start sleeping together again. He has been saying he loves me since late July. I had no reason to believe he was insincere. He wrote me love poems (pretty good ones too), he took me on moonlit walks, he paid me all kinds of compliments, he looked me in the eyes when he said he loved me. He was affectionate and tender with me. The bedroom was good for us, and I know I did a few things for him that his wife either can't or won't do. It was all very seductive and I succumbed to it, even though I always knew that he wasn't the kind of emotionally brave person I tend to want to be with, that he valued "safe and comfortable" more than just about anything else. I just never realized that his lack of bravery could impact us like this. Live and learn, I guess.
Thanks for the support.