Yes, AnnabelMore, I can do indeed do better, and I already am. I have a loving husband and another boyfriend who truly loves me and would never let HIS wife throw a tantrum and exile an established partner without grounds. My feelings for J. were never as intense as mine are for my other boyfriend, not nearly, and I used to actually feel guilty about that, silly me. So if I had to lose a partner, I lost the right one. I know that now.
Thanks for the support.