I think sometimes people don't want SOs to communicate with their OSO because it feels like they're not giving you their full attention. Like, "If you're with me, you should be paying attention to me, not your OSO." Or there may be a problem if the OSO is super needy, or intentionally interrupting your time together.
Personally, for me there's a middle ground. If my date is constantly on the phone or texting, I feel that it's disrespectful. Or if we're in the middle of a particularly focused conversation, or doing something special. But if someone tells me, "Hey, I need to check in with my girlfriend tonight," and does so at an appropriate (or prearranged) time, that's perfectly fine.
I text or call Moonlight every day, usually multiple times. But I try to time it so that it doesn't happen if Fly and I are on a date or doing something special. But if we're just hanging out, no problem. With Fly, if I'm spending the night with Moonlight, I try to dash off a quick "Love you! xoxoxo" before bed.
- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo