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Old 12-04-2012, 06:05 PM
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PolyLinguist PolyLinguist is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posts: 49

Originally Posted by onoma View Post
There's that insecurity again. A good portion of what women find attractive is your attitude. An even bigger portion is your clothes. Stupid, Ugly guys who are confident and well dressed get laid. Smart, reasonably attractive guys mostly shoot themselves in the foot by over thinking things and being insecure.
Admittedly, I don't pay as much attention to my clothes as I probably should. I am also a bit overweight, I am working on that.

This matters for superficial contacts only, though. Maybe I am a bit too sure of myself, but I could easily name half a dozen women who would take me on tomorrow (well, maybe not tomorrow, but after very little persuasion), exactly the way I am. If I was single, that is...

Originally Posted by onoma View Post
In other words you were in the friend zone. What do you mean by succeeded to a certain extent?
Sometimes they did sleep with me. It was always unexpected and not to be talked about afterwards.

What was there to talk about anyway?

One I would not have considered to be anything more than a friend, there were too many incompatibilities in our natures. What more can one say than what happened was very pleasant? I actually decided to turn romantic and took her a nice bunch of flowers the following day. She looked profoundly shocked (embarrassed?), and did not invite me in for coffee. We are still good friends, but what happened once was not even alluded to in subsequent meetings.

The other was my big love, and she knew I would do anything for her. I was not exactly reticent. She was actually with me maybe half a dozen times. Here there was no question that I could have done more - I couldn't have.

Originally Posted by onoma View Post

It can be difficult if you put too much importance on things. You have this overarching idea that women only want sex in terms of a monogamous relationship. Or at least that monogamy is something you can barter for sex. Think about it though... if that were true, there wouldn't even BE a polyamorous world. Or at least not a heterosexual one...
As I said elsewhere, this is not what I think. What I said was that for men like myself monogamy is a useful asset. If I had certain other assets aplenty, I would be out there sleeping with the most monogamous married women I could find, for they wouldn't be able to resist me. I know such men. But I can't be like them.
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