Originally Posted by Catfish
This is a wonderful question.
I believe that love is something you do. I feel most loved when my actions have fulfilled my lover's needs and she gazes back at me in appreciation. I also feel loved when I am being cared for in unexpected ways. Love, to me, is visceral. It is measured by blood moving quicker or slower; by tears; by kind actions. It can be as simple as doing the dishes or as complex as reaching out to a woman I have interest in outside our marriage and breaking the ice with a kind email.
I meet this need by giving
love. And I don't just mean my SO. I mean my friends, strangers, the dogs. Anyone I feel a connection to. If my intentions are pure, love will return in kind. And lately, I've been getting a lot
You've heard the expression "you make your own luck", well, you also make your own love.
I guess I like & relate best to this type of thinking myself. To me - love has always been something I've "given". That's not to say that it wasn't reciprocated in many cases but it was never the intent or motivation behind the giving. And maybe like Catfish here, I can't say that I have any self defined "need" for love to flow my way. Is it nice ? Yes- sometimes. Would I classify it as a "need" - I don't think so.
I think that in so many cases (and I know I've said this before in other places), we get tangled up in the language we have available and muddy the waters. For myself personally I have a distinction between "love" and "connectedness". While it's vital to acknowledge the "connectedness" of all things AND to assume as much responsibility for our interactions with this greater whole as we're capable of, for myself it seems that love represents.....how can I say this....a "deeper involvement". More "giving" of myself maybe. This is hard to explain as it wants to stray into semantics. I can easily see where someone else might make the point that in fact there is no real point of differentiation. And depending on the accepted word definitions and the actions correspondingly evoked, I couldn't argue with that interpretation.
And this may be a result of my of self definition of the terms. In other words, from a philosophical perspective I can truly say that I have love for every living thing. But my ability to "express" this love through any meaningful action is considerably more limited. I (or anyone else) is not capable of single handedly healing all the wounds of the world. We have to pick and choose. We're not blessed with unlimited physical & emotional resources. And of course, the bigger dream is that these choices are rippled out into the world and become self perpetuating. And - at least for me - not reflected backwards on myself. I'm ok. Pass it on-not back.